The guest list and sending out invitations

The guest list is the most contested part of wedding planning because it affects three things at once: the budget, the choice of venue and family relationships. Working with numbers takes much of the heat out of it.

Build the list in four columns

A plain list of names helps little. Keep four columns: name and surname, side (groom or bride), invitation channel (call, in person, link) and status (invited / confirmed / not coming). On the wedding day you then know exactly who is expected.

• Split the headcount between the families first: the discussion starts with a number, not with names.
• Mark children separately: seating and menu are counted differently for them.
• Write couples on one line («Samir and Aygun Huseynov») but count two seats.

Estimate the real attendance rate

In practice not everyone invited attends. Guests from the same city usually show up at a high rate, while those travelling in drop off noticeably. So choose the venue by expected attendance rather than by the number of invitations. Update the figure as confirmations arrive, not in the final week.

Which channel for which guest

The channel is a matter of respect. Older relatives and immediate family expect a visit or a phone call. For colleagues, university friends and neighbours a link is entirely normal and genuinely convenient: the map, the time and the programme all sit in one place.

1. 01Immediate family: in person, first (six to eight weeks ahead).
2. 02Relatives: a call plus a link (four to six weeks ahead).
3. 03Friends and colleagues: a link (three to four weeks ahead).
4. 04Reminder: everyone (three to five days before).

Why personal links work

A single link dropped into a group chat gets lost easily. A separate link carrying the guest's name reads as a personal message: the guest opens it and sees «Dear Samir Huseynov», understanding immediately that the invitation is addressed to them. There is a practical benefit too, since it is easy to track which link went to whom.

To give every guest a link with their own name, browse the templates.

Common problems

• The list lives in two different files and the versions drift apart. Keep one source.
• The invitation goes only to the head of the family, leaving out the spouse's name.
• A link is sent but the guest has poor connectivity. Keep a phone option open.
• No spare seats are reserved for guests added at the last minute.